5 Things That Prove Kenyan Men Don't Know Anything About Treating Women Right

It’s now official, Kenyan men don’t have the slightest clue as to how to treat a woman. This I came to realize after engaging in some banter with some women over drinks the other day. When the tequila kicked in, then all inhibitions were shoved to the side and it was time to open up.

And these are not just your average lasses on the streets with fake Versace tights but tenacious professional women who have things going on for them. Women, who wake up early in the morning, endure traffic (not take selfies with shisha bongs) and sit in at the office till 11 PM working on proposals and churning out ideas. They are ambitious, independent but very much open to seduction by the male species. They enjoy out of town musings and random dinner dates over the weekends and even BDSM if you turn out to be a really good boy.

Some of them have also been around the block and trust me they are a disappointed lot. They are sick and tired of the so called fuck boys and they had these messages for Kenyan men lest they all turn lesbo:

First of all, they think Kenyan men are very stingy. Their idea of spending money for a typical Kenyan man seems to be very misconstrued according to these lasses. Their idea of spending on you according to one of the ladies is Nyama choma at Njuguna’s on a Saturday afternoon and then a bottle of Jameson at Vineyard later. Well, these ladies think that is just total bullshit! A man who is in a managerial position in a mid size company and who can afford to drive a BMW 3 series, rent an apartment in Kilimani should definitely once in a while do something out of the box. They should for example just surprise you with a shopping expedition. I mean, like you randomly walk into store 66 and he ask you to pick a garment of your choice. “Surely, that can’t cost you more than 20K?” One of the ladies complained. If not that, then just pay for a trip to the coast for just me and my girls, that will cost you only 200 k and compensate for having to work for the last two weekends. Women like those kind of things, they want to be showered with gifts, affection and they want to have fun one of the ladies insisted. That is the key to their heart. So there you have it Kenyan men, don’t be so stingy!

Kenyan men don’t give a rat’s ass about appearances. So you guys have just been invited to an event, a high profile one with the big boys at the Dutch embassy. As a woman, this is you time to shine so you will rock a sexy dress; a sassy pair of stilettos, some make up and activate your sophisticated side into full swing. The plan here is to take red carpet photos, network and basically have a good time. Unfortunately that’s all in your head. The typical Kenyan man will just a rock a T-shirt, an old pair of jeans marched up with an equally old pair of sneakers. While he should have dressed up as if he was going to meet up with the president, he ends looking like he’s going to the local to catch up with the EPL. Now that drives women in sane. They put in a lot of work only for you to disappoint on your end and embarrass them while at it. And there you are accusing them of being hookers and hooking up with sponsors because they don’t take photos with their significant others. Would you if you happened to be in the same predicament? It’s about time Kenyan men style up!

Now this third point is the most depressing. I came to find out that Kenyan men don’t know anything about the art of making love. From the initial stages of asking for the cookie, getting down to business and even “dessert” they lack greatly in skill and prowess. “He will just plant a few kisses on your lips and forehead, play a little with your n*pples and just shove his thing without a care in the world if you are ready or not. And once he’s done, mind you nothing was becoming on your end, he’ll just turn around to the other side, switch on the data and start catching up with messages on his whatsapp disregarding the fact that cuddle time is equally important especially when no “job” was done in the first place!” one of the ladies shouted while writhing with anger.  

In addition to this, Kenyan men are also not fun. Beside drinking at the local and tagging you along to watch their favourite teams being thwarted, they don’t have anything else on offer. Like how many Kenyan men participate in silly games online like WCM and MCM? How many have even gotten around to understanding what Coca Cola’s taste the feeling is all about? How many have professed their love online through a GIF and appreciated their women? Your guess is as good as mine, very few. “A Kenyan man will never fly you out to experience a new city like Venice just for the gram and the memories.

Their communication skills are also zero. The only time a Kenyan man will attempt to find out how you are doing is when he’s calling to say he’s coming to get some in the evening. Try sending him a funny meme on whatsapp so that you guys can have a little laugh during the day and all you will be blue ticked. He won’t even call to tell you he misses you and you’re beautiful yet he wants you to lay it all for him in the sack at night. “Kenyan men need to understand that everything is all in the head” The ladies said in unison. You have to seduce and woo beforehand, you have to communicate!